BUCKLEY SPACE FORCE BASE, Colo. -- Achieving work-life balance is often viewed as an impossible task. I have heard numerous leaders say this throughout my career. After reflecting on this idea for years, I believe this view is rooted in an unrealistic expectation that sees work-life balance as a literal 50-50 split or a zero-sum between personal and professional lives. As part of the military, this type of balance is rarely possible.
The military will often demand sacrifices: late hours, missed holidays and family events, separations and deployments, and multiple moves that uproot family routines or spouse employment. In keeping with the second Air Force core value, service before self, the natural response from most military members is to embrace personal sacrifices for the needs of the service. With that said, it’s easy to see why achieving work-life balance is perceived as an impossible goal.
Balancing personal and professional demands is not impossible, but it is more of a balancing act than an even split. There will be points when the military demands more of your time, and there will also be times when your family requires more of your time. This requires you to balance your commitments and be judicious with your time to ensure you are paying adequate attention to both personal and professional demands.
If you start to notice you’re overloaded at work, you may need to adjust your schedule, leave the office early now and then, take leave or participate in other activities that will recharge your “battery”. The same can be said if you start noticing your family feeling neglected, or if you’re failing to meet personal goals. This concept of work-life balance aligns with many of the best practices I have heard leaders promote in the past: add family events to your calendar, take leave periodically, and ensure you take time to recharge. I agree with all these recommendations, but there is also one additional best practice that I think is critical to achieving work-life balance: being present.
Throughout my career, I have learned that over time, personal and professional demands tend to increase concurrently. The core value of “Excellence in all We Do” makes one think you must be perfect 100% of the time. I think this is another unrealistic expectation. There’s only so much time in a day and only so much energy you have to give. While I don’t believe you can be perfect 100% of the time, I do believe you can be present 100% of the time.
Your professional demands require 100% of your attention when you’re on-duty, and your personal lives demand the same level of effort and attention. This requires deliberate effort and, at times, can be incredibly challenging. This also requires a rebalancing of expectations. If you have periods when you know your professional demands will take priority over personal time, make sure that is clearly communicated to your family and friends.
For my wife and me, our top goal is always to remain together, so we have a clear understanding of what our top priority is when choosing assignments. This sometimes requires one of our careers to take a back seat while the other has slightly more time to focus on family and childcare responsibilities. Having realistic expectations about what work-life balance looks like for you is very important.
Here are a few recommendations for how you might deliberately achieve work-life balance:
1. Be present for personal events. During my last squadron command tour, I would always make it a point to be home in time for family dinners and, to the maximum extent possible, try not to be distracted by my work phone. One hour of quality family time is far better than two hours of your divided attention. This often results in late nights for my wife and me as we catch up on work tasks or unwind watching a show together once our son is finally in bed!
2. Don’t take your work-related stress home. You must find a way to decompress from your work schedule so you can be more present at home or with friends.
3. Schedule days off well in advance. Far too many people end up with use-or-lose leave at the end of the fiscal year because they feel they have too much to do or can’t afford to take leave. Scheduling leave in advance will help you balance your professional commitments appropriately.
4. Be intentional with your time so you make white space on your calendars for personal events. Go to lunch at your kids’ school from time to time. Put trivia night happy hour on your calendar. Shorten your lunch or complete a few push-up reps while you wait for your computer to complete its daily update to reduce your workout times and free up more personal time after duty hours.
5. Lastly, have realistic expectations for your professional career. If you’re prioritizing family life over professional goals, you also must be realistic about what career implications that may have. Similarly, if you’re all-in and willing to sacrifice your personal goals for professional demands, you need to be clear-eyed about how that may impact you personally. These are not all-encompassing, but I hope these tips can help you as much as they have helped me in my attempt to achieve work-life balance.